My Dancers and another Lesson

Last time we went to Poky, my Dad signed the girls up for a Dance Clinic with the university's Bangle Dancers. They had a 3 hour dance class (with treats!! I think they were more excited about the Go-gurts...). Then, that night, with their cute t-shirts, we all went to the women's basketball game so we could watch the girls dance during Half-time!

Thanks, Dad! They loved it!

Belle is a natural performer :) Lydia is at the age where dancing around is still fun but she's still a little shy. Good thing she had Belle to watch and dance with!! Eliza, on the other hand, had some reservations at first, and is at a vulnerable age where other people's opinions are almost everything. She actually didn't want to go to the clinic. I forced her to go, trying to be positive, but it was one of those moments where, as a parent, you know that it will be good for her.

Then, after we dropped them off and were leaving, I was looking through a window at her, wondering if I did the right thing, worrying that if she really didn't like being with all those other kids...watching all the dancing girls and seeing my daughter move awkwardly and self-consciously...thinking "Is this really best for her, forcing her?"

I started to tear up (I know, I know) but decided to leave, knowing that dancing with a bunch of girls, while potentially dangerous (c'mon, we all know how little girls can be hurtful at times when someone doesn't fit in), I figured it would be something I could help her recover from. And, if it was disastrous, I wouldn't make her do the program that night.

There. Dilemma solved.

So, Teresa and I had fun doing my hair :) Then, we went to pick up the girls and go out to lunch. Much to my enjoyment, they couldn't stop talking about the dancing and the teachers! Yeah them! Yeah me! Okay, sometimes I do know what I'm doing with my children. Sometimes I yell, sometimes I let them watch too much TV, sometimes we have cold cereal for dinner, and then sometimes I lovingly make my children do something out of their comfort zone, knowing they will be stronger for it.

That night, at the game, our girls saw some of the Bangle Dancers walking around and they'd call out "There's my teacher! Mom, there's my teacher!" All three of them were actually excited to start their program. If Eliza was nervous, she didn't show it. Then, she was dancing with a smile :) and that made me smile (and cry, but you all knew that).

First Day of School

I know, everyone else has already gone back to school, but since Eliza's new Charter School building still looks like this:



...they had to postpone the start date. Well, as of last Saturday, it looked like that :) The landscaping still needs to be put in and the main concrete floors still need to be stained, but it still looks great and will be an amazing building! We're really excited! Well, E was more nervous than excited, but after school today she was waaay more excited :)

Eliza, first day of third grade, Quail Run Primary School

Waiting at the bus stop with a few more nervous kids :)

Below: "When do I get to go to school??" Now, good night from Northern Utah County. May tomorrow bring you less chaos than today :) (that was more for myself...)

Enjoy :)

8 years ago today...

...I had been in labor for almost 17 hours. Three hours of pushing later, she finally decided to take her first breath (with a little help from the nurse!). I was so exhausted I could barely lift my head off the bed, but when I heard her first cry, I started crying with relief. She was swept away to the NICU for a few hours of monitoring and I think I slept the entire time she was away :)

Since then, however, I have done little sleeping. She's my early-riser, singer, dancer, performer, tumbler, artist and simply amazing. I can remember those first years like they were yesterday. And yet, she and I are able to have amazing conversations about life, scriptures, music, the pursuit of happiness... well, as far as what makes her happy :) She's so great with her sister, teaching her all sorts of things, reading to her, singing together, helping me with so many things. She definitely has my emotions...

And now, she'll be getting baptised next week. Wow. And then, I guess, life will go on as normal... It's just that at major milestones in life I tend to become a little more nostalgic... I can wait for the future because I know it will come much to soon, but I'm still excited to see how it all unfolds!

Back to Reality

Enjoying summer vacation is interesting, now that I technically no longer have a summer vacation. :) I'm a grown-up with a grown-up job. If I want to have a spring break, I have to use 'vacation time'. Instead of just making up missed assignments when I don't "feel well" I have to use 'sick time' (sick time is relative to me).

Anyway, back to reality, right? Literally hours before leaving for our last summer get-away mid-August, we found out that E's biological father was killed in a car accident the night before; thrown from the vehicle, died at the scene, killed (I'll spare the other details).

Just like that...gone, and he really hasn't been a part of her life the last few years, except for the occasional birthday/Christmas card, but I was literally shocked at the sense of loss I felt in those first few moments. For the first few years of E's life, he was a part of mine. More pain than joy, as I watched him struggle with addictions and frustrations of being torn by those addictions. That chapter of my life really opened my eyes to the devastation addiction has on a person. It doesn't let go, and if you don't let it go, it will never leave. And I couldn't make any of that better or make it go away.

At least that was his plight, because of his choices, bless his stubborn heart.

On the other hand, he was the most caring father and person you would ever meet. He would give anyone the shirt off his back to help anyone else out. He would always carry E everywhere because he loved holding her. He would play with her and her toys on the floor for hours. He almost enjoyed the toys as much as she did. He also let her do whatever she wanted. :) Sometimes Mom would have to reign them both in.

So, back to that morning, I'm thinking to myself, "What do I do?" Do I tell her now, moments before we are to leave on a fun-filled, much-anticipated week? Or do I wait until I know when the funeral is? Or do we go to the funeral at all? I guess those were my options. Of course I would take her to the funeral. She's old enough to know about death and I know she would need the closure. But, I decided to wait to tell her. Probably because I didn't know what to say or even how to act. We haven't seen him in a long time and D adopted her last summer; things were a bit awkward. Plus, he had remarried, had 5 step kids and another child. E has another half-sister. So, I waited.

We found out the funeral wouldn't be until the following Monday, so I figured we'd enjoy our week then I'd talk with her after we get home Sunday. We stopped at the Mall on our way home to pick up some simple outfits because we obviously hadn't packed any clothes fitting for a funeral. She was excited to get a new dress, but I didn't tell her why. I totally chickened out, but I didn't want to talk to her about it then, in the Mall. Sheesh. We went back to my parent's house, and I wanted to go see his Mom and talk with her before the viewing the next day. So, I took E to get some ice cream. Then, while we were eating our ice cream, I just came out and said, "Sweety, Justin was in a car accident a few days ago and he died." She got it right away and started quietly crying. Wanna know the first thing she asked me? "When did this happen?" A few days ago. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I don't know, I told her. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I'm sorry. I just held her for a few minutes until she asked, "Is that why I got a new dress?" Sheesh, nothing gets past her.

By the time the funeral was over, I realized I should have told her when the rest of us found out. I should have let her have those moments to grieve. We could have grieved together. She would still have had a fun, great week. She was fine. We talked about heaven and resurrecting and Heavenly Father and she was completely okay with it. By trying to protect her, I only prolonged the pain, even for me. And I'm usually a 'get-it-done-and-over-with' kind of person. But she's moved on and is healthfully playing and bickering with her siblings and life is back to our state of normal. But Southeast ID will always hold all kinds of memories...

First Day of Second Grade

D took E to the school yesterday to find her new classroom and meet her teacher. It's hard enough sending her on the bus, so I wanted her to at least know how to get to her class. She came home excited, but with all the talk of "going back to school," L came up to me on Sunday, solemn and with a frown. She said, "Mama, why does E have to go to school? I will miss her." They've had fun staying up late together, reading books together, watching movies, playing dolls and Lego's, not to mention coloring...everything there is to color. I didn't even imagine there would be a separation anxiety, considering how they can make each other scream with frustration :) I told L we could do our own school; that seemed to appease her for the time. Time to get out the workbooks!!

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

Some of my conversations this past week

(talking about friends at school)
E: But, your my best friend, Mom. Well, I guess you're not a friend cuz you're my Mom.
Me: Well, I can be your friend, too.
E: Right. Thanks! You're the best!
Me: Just remember that in about 10 years.
E: Okay...why would I want to do that?

Me: Ok, pumpkin, it's time to get ready for bed.
L: I not Pumpkin, I Lydia

Me: Good night, Princess.
L: I not Princess, I Lydia

I get it, I get it. :)

Inside Her Head

I would love to see inside Eliza's mind and how she processes information. The following is from a conversation between she and Daryl:
E: I don't want you to die
D: Well, why not? (where exactly can you go with that, right?)
E: Because girls without dads have to live with mean step-moms and have to ware raggs and work as maids and clean the house with a mop.
D: Well, maybe your Fairy Godmother will bring you a Prince?
E thinks about that for a minute
E: What about mom?
D: Maybe the Fairy Godmother will bring Mom a king!
E: (pauses) Naw, she's better off with a normal husband like you.

I couldn't agree more :) xoxo

More Not-So-Random Thoughts of a Six yearold

E: I have the best hearing of anyone in the world.

Me: Then why don't you listen to me?

E: Well, I'm not Wonder Woman!

(I didn't even know she knew who WW was!!)

***************
E: Mom?!? Is something burning? I smell bacon!!

(referring to a time when the bacon caught on fire in the oven as I was trying to cook it)

***************
E: Mom, I have some Saturday Rules.

Me: Okay

E: Rule #1 -- Come upstairs on Saturday morning and get us out of bed.
Rule #2 -- If I'm not awake, go back downstairs until I am awake.
Rule #3 -- When I stomp on the floor, come upstairs and get breakfast ready.

Me: Mmhhmm

E: It's pretty simple, really...Why are you trying not to laugh?

Me: I'm not laughing. I just love listening to your stories.

E: It's not a story, Mother. It's just breakfast.

(not only has she made rules, but what 6yo says 'pretty simple, really'? I'm still chuckling!)

Unconditional Love

Phone conversation while I'm at work, before E went to bed:

"Mommy, why do you have to leave every day?"

"Some Mommies have to go to work."

"But I miss you when you are gone."

"I miss you too, sweety."

"I wish you could always stay here and we could still have our house. Will it get knocked down like on the home makeover show?"

"That would be nice..."

"Then we wouldn't have a house, but you wouldn't have to go to work!"

"Where would we live?"

"It doesn't matter. Don't worry, Mom. I still love you."

Leaps and Bounds for Good Girls

She's done it. Lydia can successfully get herself out of her crib. The other morning, I thought she was still asleep after Eliza came down, so E was watching PBS while I was doing laundry. I heard a pitter-patter, then something move across the floor. I listened just to see/hear what would happen. A few minutes later, L scooted down the stairs with a roll in her hand, which she found on the counter (she pulled the chair over to the counter and climbed up on it!). She was so proud of herself, showed me the roll and started giggling! She's saying more and more words all the time and is just growing up so fast! I forget she's not quite 2 yet, but she's trying her best to catch up to her big brother and sister. I'm just trying to soak it all in so I don't forget what it's like to be young and impressionable, where everything is new and every task is a new challenge. The look on her face when she climbs into her booster seat is....I can't even describe it, I just want to hug and kiss it!

Eliza asked me today why I don't say "Good girl" to her like I do to Lydia. Ouch. She was serious, too. I explained that I thought for her, that phrase might be too young for a big girl. I tell her "Great job," or "You're such a good helper" or other such age-appropriate phrases, but apparently I can simplify my thoughts. "No," she said. "I like 'good girl' better 'cause I'm good and I'm a girl." I couldn't have put it better myself, my girly princess Diva. Gosh, I love you guys.

A Good Spring...Cut

My cute cousin cutting the girls' hair. Thanks, Amber!
Post-hair cut. Lydia was more interested in the McGriddle. Yumm!
She was holding still but being grumpy and wouldn't smile
Now she's looking around...
Sitting still...
Trying to catch the smile on camera. She's telling Amber all about her princess movies and singing songs. Such a chatter box!

Thanks, again, Amber! The girls look adorable and will look so cute for pictures on Friday!

Princesses on Ice

Girls will be Girls

Girls love their Nanie.

Happy Birthday, Mom!












This Girl loves clothes

and "making" outfits

Oh, which one do I choose?


(E had this all laid out and was so exceited to show me!)


There's not enough floor space (I'm still laughing about it!)





Girls love posing for the camera,

some more than others :)














Little girls love their big sisters



"Iza, ge ba her!" L was yelling until she caught up (not a spelling error, just say those sounds out loud and choppy and that's what it sounded like) :)











Girls love their Daddy,

and a shy camera face













This one loves to stuff her socks into her pajamas...

I don't get it...

but it was funny to find them :)

Girls love to fight

over silly things
:)













Girls love to multitask!

Valentine's Day 2008

Here are some fun pictures from Valentine's Day and a couple other days this past week

The girls love to pose and Lydia loves to say "Cheeeeese!"
I couldn't believe I was able to get Lydia to stay in that pose long enough to take the photo! When she saw Eliza get down on the floor, she dropped down right next to her!

They both are so loving.

I'll keep this picture and show it to them, maybe even enlarge it and frame it, to put in their room about 10 years from now. :)

Eliza's Kindergarten Valentine's Party, making cards for Mom and Dad, matching conversation hearts and decorating cookies. I've been the PM Kindergarted Room Mother this year. I really has been great because I can't be there during the day, but this way I get to organize the parties! I've had great help from other Moms, too.

Oh...got...to...get...up...

Tada!!! Cheeeeeese!

Listening to Eliza play the piano

Eliza is playing 'Old McDonald Had a Farm' for Grandpa Peay, all by herself!!

Back To School

Eliza has been home from school (and everything else) since last Monday. It started with not feeling well Sunday evening, fever Monday, sore throat along with some huge swollen lyphnodes and nice pink tonselles (and a negative Strep test) Tuesday, and "Mom, my hands are itchy. What are all these red bumps?"

My heart fell into my stomach!

First of all, I'm trying to convince myself that she doesn't have Mono by Tuesday (the curses of seeing health ailments as a nurse), so by Wednesday when the spots broke out, honestly? My very first thought was, "What if the Rapid Strep test was a false negative and now she has scarlet fever?" Not my brightest moment as a mother, but given our dealings with doctors and tests this past year, can anyone really blame me?

Besides, I knew in my heart of bleeding hearts that my baby had Chicken Pox. Yes, she had the wonderful vaccine, just like 95% of the rest of the population of children her age. She seemed more annoyed than sick, but I made the appropriate phone calls, arranged for her school work to be sent over, cancelled dance and piano for the week, and even accepted a play date. My friend wanted her daughter to be exposed. She also had had the vaccine, but she still wants to know her daughter at least was exposed, then whatever happens, happens. :) I was grateful for the playdate; Eliza was getting stirr-crazy and I was grateful for the distraction.

Lydia started in with a fever on Wednesday, and her appitite dwindled, so I was assuming her throat could have hurt. I braced myself for her plight as well, and even cancelled her 18 month check-up. I didn't want her getting more shots if she were already sick. Besides, it's not very conciderate of others to sit in a waitingroom spreading an airborne virus. I'm sure all the other patients visiting the MD that day would thank me.

AND......the vaccine lives up to it's label: if the child does get this virus, it should be a mild expression of the disease. I could probably count the pox that actually errupted on Eliza's hands and arms, 10 on her legs and toes, 1 on her cheeck, 1 on her nose, 1 on each ear. I gave her some benadryl one night because the itching was bothering her, but nothing like the itching misery and sticky, soggy, oatmeal baths that I remembered.

She is so ready to go back to school today. As for Lydia, not one Pox, so I'm not convinced it fully effected her. At least I know she's protected. No booster shots for Eliza, which is good. Any time to reduce a shot is in all our best interests. Can anyone say "Drama?"

One more thing to be grateful for...Daryl is one month post-chemo. Not only for the obvious, but if this breakout whould have happened just 4 short weeks earlier, this little episode could have been devistating. Now who's dramatic. We both suddered at the thought and breathed a sign of relief. Now? Back to life! Good thing I don't have to work tonight. I'm beat!