29 May 2008
Eliza asked me today why I don't say "Good girl" to her like I do to Lydia. Ouch. She was serious, too. I explained that I thought for her, that phrase might be too young for a big girl. I tell her "Great job," or "You're such a good helper" or other such age-appropriate phrases, but apparently I can simplify my thoughts. "No," she said. "I like 'good girl' better 'cause I'm good and I'm a girl." I couldn't have put it better myself, my girly princess Diva. Gosh, I love you guys.
26 May 2008
I went to a national Oncology convention with a bunch of people from work to have a wonderfully enlightening oncology educational experience and inspire myself to be a better oncology nurse and get lots of free stuff that I don't need that made my bag 20 lbs heavier than I was allowed and had to pay $$ to get my bag on the friggin' plane (inhale)...but honestly? I was able to take home some great ideas plus I enjoyed a few days away from any kind of responsibility, and the dutch pretzels, a great gyro, and interesting root beer. I couldn't get myself to eat a Philly cheese steak sandwich, though.
By the time I flew into SLC, I was almost crying I missed my family so much! I've had enough of planes and airports for a while.
25 May 2008
It's great to feel loved :)
Later that evening, I met up with my girlfriends from highschool and we and our spouses went out to dinner, no kids. It was great to catch up with everyone.
So, no big deal. I'm 30 now. I'm over it. But I told Brook when I called to thank her for the extra toilet paper, "No matter how old I get, you'll still be older." Love ya, kidd-o! :) Thanks!
21 May 2008
"No evidence of metastatic disease" which means he has a clean bill of health! :) Yeah for chemotherapy and radiation (easy for me to say, I didn't have to do it) but because of these things, and ofcourse my great care in keeping his central IV line from getting infected or clotted, our favorite Dad, husband and friend will be with us for many, many more years! We will get the final word from his doctor on June 9, so until then... enjoy everything! Live Rich, love you man!
20 May 2008
Never before have I claimed to be Martha Stewart or Bree Vandekamp-Hodge, nor am I now claiming. I snicker under my breath at home-made anything (more so that I am quietly jealous that they have time/organization to get things done at home), but I have done something even I thought was impossible...
I ironed one of my flat sheets (notice I said 'one').
My lovely, creamy, cottony Egyptian cotton bed sheet that comes out of the blasted drier so wrinkled you'd think it sat in a basket for a month. But it comes out that way, no matter how damp I snatch it. So, when I pulled it out this morning, I remembered my ironing board was still up from an ironing-stint last week :) and thought, "What the heck, right?"
Funny thing, even after the pressing, the wrinkle lines are still there, probably permanently creased from lack of previous care (sticking my toung out to Martha, love the magazine) but at least I won't try to smooth the wrinkles from the hem in my sleep. I guess wrinkles bother me more than I have time to admit.
If I had a steamer, would my wrinkled life be any easier...? Hmmm... mention that to Daryl :) He may get a starched shirt out of it!!
P.S. The Disneyworld pics will be coming shortly, promise!
17 May 2008
I cannot go into Office Max with cash in my wallet or I will spend it on something, usually something I don't really need but I justify having...like when I went to Costco for diapers, milk and eggs but allowed myself to wander...I honestly had no direction, I just turned down the first isle I felt like...
It was like I was drawn to the office supply isle!! Boxes of paper, envelopes, pens, post-its, white-out.....my heart seriously skipped a beat and started racing! I was mesmorized, then realized I had a time constraint so I couldn't linger, much. So I quickly grabbed a box of security business evelopes and started walking faster (I couldn't just turn around; I had to at least finish the length of the isle) then I saw it!
Costco never has sales, but this had a "New Price" huge lable that made it stick out to suckers such as myself. And to what my wondering eyes did apper? A lable maker!! I started thinking of all the wonderful things I could label, as if I didn't know what was in those mysterious drawers...now I would. No more guessing. I justified $19.98 (came with two lable cartrages and batteries!), and ran toward the diaper isle. By the time I got to the eggs, I was flushed and couldn't wait to get home and label everything! I would be so much more organized!
I labled some craft drawers then stashed it and couldn't find it for about a month. Since then I've lost my passion to label. The battereis are going to die, I just know it! But Costco has bricks of those, too...
13 May 2008
I really enjoy my job. No, seriously. I could honestly say I LOVE my job...until the last few weeks. Today, I don't love my job so much.
Physical interaction with people and helping people are so wonderful about being a nurse. I hate being away from my family, but I still get to help make someone else's day a little better so that helps (except, try to explain that to Eliza). However, the last few weeks I have seen the really terrible fallouts of this mystical disease we call Cancer. I have in the past also seen Cancer bring families and relationships closer, a beautiful thing. But there is nothing beautiful about a 27 year old mother of four children under the age of 10 not being able to communicate with her family, her husband helpless and holding back tears, trying to be strong for the children, simply holding her hand, waiting for family to gather so they can say goodbye and turn off the machines. A more positive person would find some sort of beauty in this situation...I don't know how else to see it right now. I would hate to be on either of that side. We all would.
I could go on and on with the patients and their situations. I love them all, and each story pulls at my heartstrings. We all end up asking "Why, and How?" even though we all know there is no answer, but it's hard not to sometimes. And I think it's waring on me. I'm having a harder and harder time leaving work at work...
...and then it actually came home with me.
Then my husband made fast friends with a brain-cancer patient who was given months to live and made the most of every moment...until the very end. I was this man's nurse days before he died...not a good idea, but his wife and I had a bond. I wanted to take care of them. I wanted someone to hold me, so i wanted to hold her. She knew Daryl. But, something's gotta give when your friends and patients and family collide.
So, as of today, I'm considering a job change. If anyone knows how get paid for simply being a full-time Mom, please let me know!! Being a nurse is all I know; it's engrained in me, but can we get away from the sadness? I'm taking suggestions... email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you can't leave a comment here. I'm totally serious, Mom.
11 May 2008
Everyone thinks they have the best Mother in the world, but I have to agree with everyone else and their respective mothers and say, "Mine's the best." No one could pack a minivan with camping equipment, food and wood for 6 people for a week in the woods like my Mom!! Every year we were amazed at the amount of things laying in the driveway and every year, after it's all in the car, we say, "we should have taken a picture of that."
Not just camping (even though we had a lot of talks and walks in the woods) my Mom was also the person who taught me the most about loving your family members. :) I have 3 brothers, but only one sister, and we were enough for each other! Our personalities and characters collided more than meshed when we were growing up, but Mom told me over and over again, "Friends will come and go, but your family will be with you forever." Basically saying, nurture your relationship because when everyone else is gone, they will be all you have. I know she would tell my sister the same thing and after a while we finally got it. I can say now that my sister is literally my best friend. I can tell her anything and she will always have advice and she never judges me. She's a great mom, too.
I'm actually at work this Mother's Day and have a few minutes to type this up really fast, just to say "I love you, Mom. I am the person today because of your advice, your example and your love." I hope I can spend more time with my kids eventually so I can give then what they need, too.
P. S. Dad wouldn't let me give him money for the bracelet. He wanted it to be 100% from him. At least I got the card in the mail, hu? :) Thanks for reading!! Check in any time!
09 May 2008
We have a group of new nurses joining our staff at work, this being one of the end's of the many ends to the multiple nursing school programs. With all the new graduates around (some have been with us their whole nursing school experience), there has been a great deal of reminiscing lately. There has been the annoying professor complaints, the miscommunication with the different offices on how exactly we get our degree or temporary licence or other nonsense. Aside from that, there has been a great deal of looking back -- three years now for me -- and what was going on in our lives then.
I can't believe it's been three years since I've graduated with a college degree; at the same time it feels like FOREVER! But I wouldn't change any of it. I can't imagine working anywhere else. When the Huntsman Cancer Hospital was finishing up construction, I still had a year before I graduated and wanted so bad to move down and work at that facility. To just be a part of something of Mr. Huntsman's amazing generosity would have been a privilege. Then I met the the manager who's vision it was to even have a facility like this for "her" cancer patients was so moving...I knew, someday, I would be there. But, I was a single Mom and couldn't just pack up and move...well, I guess I could, but it wouldn't have been practical.
Then, I get married, and low-and-behold my lovely new husband wants to move back to Utah to be closer to his son so he doesn't have to leave us alone in ID every other weekend. He also let's me talk him into going to UofU. :) Well, I better apply for a job!! In one day I had 4 interviews, was offered the job at the end of each interview and accepted one from HCH. And here I still am.
Not only that, but we've had first-hand experience at the care the patients received, but I really think they spoiled Daryl and the kids. Eliza asked, just yesterday, when we get to go back to the hospital to visit. Daryl said the other day, too, that he misses seeing me at work. I have to admit, as weird as it was, it was a comfort knowing even if I couldn't be there with him, he was so very well cared for. Every day I'm at work, even now, someone asks me how he's doing and wishes us well. Plus, being with the patients helps keep things in perspective for us.
Working or not working is not an option for me right now. But if I have to work somewhere, I wouldn't want it to be anywhere else.