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13 June 2008

How to Take Care of a Cancer Patient (part two)

Did you all enjoy noticing your feelings? Were you able to allow yourself to feel something different, or something you weren't used to feeling? Mothers, for example, tend to allow themselves to feel guilty about lots of things and yet put off feelings of contentment. At least that's what I've read. :) I tend to lean toward guilty contentment with a squirt of messy chocolate sauce!

June is Sarcoma Awareness month. Wear Yellow and tell everyone you know that you know a Sarcoma Survivor! Little joys and milestones are important and have been from our perspective. While our dear friend Rich was alive and fighting every day to keep his mental faculties (he had an aggressive brain tumor), every single day held blessings and joys. He would always talk about his kids, 3 young boys, just being able to hold his wife's hand, reaching for something on his own, getting himself to his wheelchair then having the energy to get himself down the hall. Little things and great lessons.

Rich was a great example in staying positive, no matter the outcome. Daryl's case isn't quite so grim, and most cancers aren't grim and after treatment offer the patient a great deal of life still left to live. Think of it as a wake-up call. You are going about your business, life as usual, then someone says you have a life-altering disease.

"The disease itself may not kill you, but the medications we will give you will put your body at a considerable risk for infection and quality of life for x# months. You will probably have some side-effects, many of which could linger (i.e. sterility, nerve damage, heart damage, skin irritations, kidney damage). Of course we will try to limit these side effects.....but we just don't know how it will effect each person exactly , but this is how the last 87% of people have done..."

Wake-up call.

But we are all in different stages of dying, right? Every day we live here is one less tomorrow we will have. People living with Cancer have just had their mortality shoved in their face, front and center, hot spotlights and everything. Now we are forced to deal with the reality that mortality ends. So, now what? What do we do with that realization? That, my dear friends, is a constant everyday exercise; do not take anything for granted.

That is the next question. How would you change your mortality if it were shoved in your face? Or would you change anything at all? What would you give up? What would you hold close? Now we know what is really important, hu?

Don't forget the chocolate...

1 comment:

Mariam said...

The human spirit is such an interesting thing. My grandfather was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a week ago Wed. He went home, and gave up the desire to live, and he passed away in just over a week last Thurs. It is so amazing how much control we do have.
Having a strong desire to live will not always cure you, but giving up the will to live is dramatic. I don't think any modern med. can save you at that point.