"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant" ~Jane Sellman

When I read that comment, I didn't even know who Jane Sellman was, but I knew I would like her :) Read about her here.

This very topic beggs to be left alone :) Maybe I want to talk about it today because...I haven't talked about it in a while :) I read something about it here and also read all the comments after. Everyone had their two cents to bring. So, I figured, instead of talking to some random person about her decision to be a mother and to work outside the home, I'd just talk about my own thoughts and feeling on my own blog. Why, you ask? Because I can :)

My girls are almost 8 and almost 4. In the last 8 years, I have been a full stay-at-home Mom(SAHM) for a total of 5 months. Wow. Is that all? Really? Yup, I guess that's right. When E was 2 months old, I went back to school to finish my nursing degree (she was a baby; I could be done before she turned 2). Shortly after that, her father and I separated and divorced (that's a whole other story...). Full-time student, working on the weekends, E spent more time with my mother (Nannie) than I did. Before I graduated college, I met a great man with a desire to continue a family. My hopes to be able to stay home with our children were growing brighter.

Gratefully, working as a nurse allows some scheduling flexibility around a family. D wanted to finish his education and I wanted to support him. I knew that, after it was done, we'd be more financially stable for me to be home completely. What was a few more years working? Shortly after we were married, we received the best 'blessing in disguise' we will have ever received. I was pregnant, and my focus completely changed.

I knew what I wanted. I wanted to enjoy my children. I wanted a garden. I wanted...lots of things. Still do :) But I knew that staying home with my children and being home for my husband was more important than having an extra income. So, D got a full-time job with his drafting degree, we bought a house and settled in...

For what, I don't know, nor will I ever know. Eight months later, L was born. That started my 5 short months being home with two children. I was part of a Co-Op preschool with other moms in the neighborhood. I had a cleaning schedule and grocery shopping schedule. I took care of the yard. I didn't have time to start a garden. Five short months later, D was given the news that he might have a tumor. One surgery later, our fears were confirmed. Cancer.

His pain and illness and treatment schedule made his work virtually imposable. I won't even get into the insurance woes. So, there was Life, dropped into my lap. "I don't even know what I would do if I were in your situation." Yes, you do. You'd pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going. You wake up, every day, and do what you have to do. Me? I just had to leave my children with D, sometimes friends or family, and go back to work. Luckily, it was a job I loved and co-workers who were supportive of me and our situation. And now, because of my job, we have the best insurance and situation for D and his treatments and doctors. Another blessing, even if I do have to be away from home.

Every situation is different. And mine is something I couldn't control. Because of this, though, I've been put into situations and positions of responsibility and have grown from those opportunities. I can teach my girls to be strong, not because of, but in spite of, other experiences in a working environment. I'm just trying to gain from that which life has dealt me. If it were another situation, I'd learn from that, too. Life is Relative.

Nothing eases the pain, though, when they're crying because they don't want me to go...

Someday, Girls. Someday.

Pictures found here and here