"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant" ~Jane Sellman

When I read that comment, I didn't even know who Jane Sellman was, but I knew I would like her :) Read about her here.

This very topic beggs to be left alone :) Maybe I want to talk about it today because...I haven't talked about it in a while :) I read something about it here and also read all the comments after. Everyone had their two cents to bring. So, I figured, instead of talking to some random person about her decision to be a mother and to work outside the home, I'd just talk about my own thoughts and feeling on my own blog. Why, you ask? Because I can :)

My girls are almost 8 and almost 4. In the last 8 years, I have been a full stay-at-home Mom(SAHM) for a total of 5 months. Wow. Is that all? Really? Yup, I guess that's right. When E was 2 months old, I went back to school to finish my nursing degree (she was a baby; I could be done before she turned 2). Shortly after that, her father and I separated and divorced (that's a whole other story...). Full-time student, working on the weekends, E spent more time with my mother (Nannie) than I did. Before I graduated college, I met a great man with a desire to continue a family. My hopes to be able to stay home with our children were growing brighter.

Gratefully, working as a nurse allows some scheduling flexibility around a family. D wanted to finish his education and I wanted to support him. I knew that, after it was done, we'd be more financially stable for me to be home completely. What was a few more years working? Shortly after we were married, we received the best 'blessing in disguise' we will have ever received. I was pregnant, and my focus completely changed.

I knew what I wanted. I wanted to enjoy my children. I wanted a garden. I wanted...lots of things. Still do :) But I knew that staying home with my children and being home for my husband was more important than having an extra income. So, D got a full-time job with his drafting degree, we bought a house and settled in...

For what, I don't know, nor will I ever know. Eight months later, L was born. That started my 5 short months being home with two children. I was part of a Co-Op preschool with other moms in the neighborhood. I had a cleaning schedule and grocery shopping schedule. I took care of the yard. I didn't have time to start a garden. Five short months later, D was given the news that he might have a tumor. One surgery later, our fears were confirmed. Cancer.

His pain and illness and treatment schedule made his work virtually imposable. I won't even get into the insurance woes. So, there was Life, dropped into my lap. "I don't even know what I would do if I were in your situation." Yes, you do. You'd pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going. You wake up, every day, and do what you have to do. Me? I just had to leave my children with D, sometimes friends or family, and go back to work. Luckily, it was a job I loved and co-workers who were supportive of me and our situation. And now, because of my job, we have the best insurance and situation for D and his treatments and doctors. Another blessing, even if I do have to be away from home.

Every situation is different. And mine is something I couldn't control. Because of this, though, I've been put into situations and positions of responsibility and have grown from those opportunities. I can teach my girls to be strong, not because of, but in spite of, other experiences in a working environment. I'm just trying to gain from that which life has dealt me. If it were another situation, I'd learn from that, too. Life is Relative.

Nothing eases the pain, though, when they're crying because they don't want me to go...

Someday, Girls. Someday.

Pictures found here and here

Righteous Indignation

Not, really, but "Righteous Desires" isn't the Title grabber I was going for. Now, the Righteous Indignation made you stop and think, huh? :)

Naw, all kidding aside, I was pouting/venting this morning to a good friend about how it stinks that she gets to stay home and do Mommy things with her kids, or play at the pool (I bet you had so much fun, N!) and I have to go to work (pouty lip and everything). She let me pout, and I feel better. Also, D and I had a serious talk the other day about how, because of our situation (not any one's fault) that I am working and he is home (work AND school don't go too well together). So, someone has to pay the bills, and more importantly now the insurance!

I pouted, I cried, I considered increasing my medication, but my good friend told me that it's totally okay to have righteous desires. That's all she said.

I still want more children, too, but I can't have that either...at least not the way we had planned years ago. But when she said that, it made me realize that I'm not just being a baby. I want to have those things, but it's because of our circumstances and not our choices...

I know life isn't perfect and I can't have everything I want. And, just because I have a righteous desire, doesn't mean I need more medication! :) Besides, tomorrow is Saturday, and I will be with my kids ALL day. Maybe I just need to learn better time-management skills :)

Have a great weekend!

Happy Mother's Day to Me

I sure love my Mom. In fact, it was her example and attitude which made me want to be a mother, too. :) I have met many Mothers over my 30 years; each and every one of them have been an inspiration. How would the world be without mothers?

I hate asking questions that have no answers, but someone always asks them. So, since it is Mother's Day, I thought I'd take some time on MY day (and all of YOUR days) to make a list of the things I love about being a Mother! (BTW, any of these enjoyments have been enjoyed by more than simply mothers) :)

*The time I DO sleep is very appreciated
*Taking multi-tasking to a whole new multi-level
*I missed the creative gene my sister inherited, but somewhere I picked up the willingness to get her idea on things that need to be creative (she's a great mother, too!)
*There is something fulfilling about making a satisfying, healthful meal for my family (even if it takes all day)
*I love the smell of fresh linen and a freshly mowen lawn
*The wrinkles in said linen have, on rare occasion, led me to iron my bedsheets and a few dishtowels
*Spending the entire day in your house, but at the end of the day, feeling the accomplishment of Spring cleaning/organizing
*Artwork of every medium (crayon, pencil, finger paint, real paint, markers, glue, glitter...)
*Even thinking of buying more magnets for the fridge
*Finding something you actually need...on SALE
*Sleeping through the night (or at least for 6 hours at once) after coming home from the hospital.
*Baby smells (yes, all of them)
*Bath time (means Clean time). Water can solve just about any mess, unless it is the cause of the mess...thus the invention of the towel
*Hand prints and measuring lines. They get bigger so fast!

I could go on and on, but I'd love to hear some of yours!

Happy Mother's Day to you all!

From the Mouth of Babes Part 2

I tried this with my own kids. There's a reason they do these things with younger kids. :)
(1=E, 2=J)

Why did God make Mothers?
1. Moms have to have the babies
2. So there would be people in the world

How did God make Mothers?
1. He chose a body that matched the spirit
2. God created Eve and it just kept going

What Ingredients are Mothers made of?
1. Lungs, bones, flesh and blood and everything else in your body
2. The same thing girls are made of: sweet, sour and everything nice

Why did God give you your Mother and not some other Mom?
1. Cuz I think he thinks you'd be nice to me, and I think you are.
2. Cuz you picked that one up in Heaven

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. She looked pretty cute.
2. She was really little.

What did Mom need to know about Dad befre she married him?
1. His name, his favorite color, ask him why he had such handsome hair. Then you can ask him back why he shaved his head.
2. If he'd be funny.

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. She chose him, he looked nice.
2. Because he was funny.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom's the boss of me and my sister and Dad's the boss of the family.
2. Dad's the boss of everyone and Mom's the boss of the kids.

What's the difference between Moms and Dads?
1. Dads are bigger
2. Dads are boys and Moms are girls

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Make her bd and make me breakfast
2. Plays with Daddy or take a nap

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. Make-up and nice hair and choose the right dress.
2. If he would let me ware whatever I want.

If you could change one thng about your Mom, what would it be?
1. I would change her life to make it better?
2. I like her the way she is.

From the Mouth of Babes

My father sent this to me in an email. I wanted to keep it forever!! So I'll let you all enjoy it, too

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.